Mayday Parade Updates

My first love.... the first time i spoke a word to him was in band class. I was a freshmen and he was a sophomore. he walked up to me and he said "we should be best friends" so i said joking because i had no clue who he was "hell yes bffs til the end" he laughed a little and then walked away. The next two months we talk a little more each time we saw each other. Then one day after the dreadful homecoming prep-rally i went home with one of my friends from marching band.Then later on that Friday night in the pep band section of the bleachers at the football game he sat by me. I had never seen him outside school so i didn't know how to act. but when we got started to talk every thing felt natural. Things got flirty and i was nervous. Later on after the pep band duty was no longer needed we walked off away from everyone else. We were standing behind some wall and he lend in to kiss me i was very scared and nervous, but i leaned in to. That was my first kiss, usually girls first kisses are in 6th or 7th grade but that's not how i was. That one kiss change everything i thought and felt. He asked me out that night, probably the best night I've lived. About a month later I made the biggest mistake of my life, it was my choice and my choice was the worst choice. I was at my best friends house and decided to kiss another guy why i was there. The first moment i saw my first loves face again i told him what had happened and how big a mistake it was. When i told him he got somewhat mad but said he could forgive me because he loved me. Those three words came out of his mouth, and i said them back, MEANING it with all my heart. A week or to later through a text message he broke up with me. Any tears didn't fall out of my eyes until i said it out loud, he broke up with me. I felt like i was crying for days on end, it was the worst feeling i ever felt. It took me a year to realize we were just kids in love, it meant nothing, and it was just something to learn from. 5/27 Columbus,OH

Part III: Right now, I miss him more than anything in this world. I would do anything to have him back in my life, but for now, I’m moving on with my life as best as I can. The most important thing I learned from my first love is that you can never take someone's love for granted. And how after you've lost someone forever, you start to see how the little things that used to drive you crazy are the very same things you really miss when it's gone. For instance, I miss how he played video games all day, had a weird obsession with Link, and how he burped all day long. I only wish I had a second chance to prove to him how much he changed my life and how because of him, I'm a better person. I can only hope that maybe in the future we will cross paths again and maybe start over, but until that day, although I know it's "unhealthy", I'll still wait for you. I think, as much as we're willing to fight and deny it, a part of us will always be waiting for our first love. Secretly wishing to have a chance again…

Part II: Have you ever read a story where a guy likes the kind-hearted, lovable, outgoing girl but instead everyone wonders why he's with his stuck-up, spoiled, sorry-excuse-for-a-girlfriend? I really wanted to be the sweet girl, but in reality, I was the stuck-up girl. I broke up with him several times, I treated him badly, started fights for no reason at all, and was petty and jealous over nothing. If only my future self would have punched me in the face screaming, "You're destroying your future! And you're gonna regret this!" Anyways, after exactly a year and a half, I had about had enough of being unhappy and I decided to end the relationship. We both felt it coming and it was mutual. I moved out and everything was great until I realized what a complete incompetent fool I was for treating one of the most genuine hearted guys left out there like crap. After some months passed, I told him that I still loved him and wanted to be with him so badly that I would do anything, but eventually after you get treated like shit you learn to never go back to it and who could blame him? Instead of getting emotional or angry, I was surprisingly calm and happy that I at least apologized for my mistakes and got some closure. That was the last time I spoke to him. I told him that I didn't want to talk ever again because since he was my first love, I couldn't handle if I knew he had a girlfriend or was engaged or had kids. It would just be better off if I didn't know. People never really get over their first love, do they? I mean, really really? To this day I do regret the decisions I made in the past, but I would not go back and change a thing, you know why? If all of this heartbreak and lessons learned didn't happen, I wouldn't be who I am right now, today. I'm glad I went through everything because now I know exactly how I'm NOT going to treat my next boyfriend.

This is for Austin, TX 5/13. Part I: I met my first love online of all places. I cannot describe the feeling I got when I first saw his picture. After getting many emails about different guys "winking" at me and being let down because they weren't my type, I was sort of reluctant to get all excited when I saw a new notification that I "caught someone's attention". Good thing I didn't go ahead and delete it like I normally would have. The email's subject line might as well have read, "Are you ready to change your life forever?" because after opening it, well, that's exactly what happened. We talked online for about a month until we finally decided to meet in summer of '08. He lived in Austin, I in Dallas. After going to Warped Tour every year since 2001, he thought it'd be perfect to go to Warped in Dallas as our first "date" and see how things went from there. I was extremely nervous because after getting to know a hot guy online and then finally meeting face to face, well, let's just say it was an amazing feat that I held back from vomiting all over his vans because I was so terribly nervous. He made me so nervous with his smile that I actually felt nauseous and I couldn’t even look him in the eye. That day was the day I'll always remember as being the first and only day I actually felt alive. When I'm feeling sad, I always re-live that moment and it makes the biggest smile break out across my face and happiness washes all over my being. The next day, our bittersweet romance started and lasted for a year and a half. I guess we fell too fast and too hard for each other. I moved to Austin in January of '09 to 1) transfer to UT and 2) be closer to him. Going to school four hours away from him proved to be too much for me to handle. We moved in together after six months of dating and ever since it was a rollercoaster of up and down's. We both saw each other at our worst. The sad part? We were the cause of each other being miserable.

My first love is what powers everything in me now. About on year ago, I fell for my very first love. We happened through school and met through friends. No one would ever think that we'd be the ones to go out because we looked copmletly opposite from eachother. We proved everyone wrong. We began to talk more and more and hangout. One week later, quick, but perfect, he had asked me out. And from that day on, we'd became inseperable. He'd became my life. No, I didnt forget about the rest of the world, but he was no officaly in it. My friends, were his friends and his friends were my friends. We fit together perfectly. We'd take continuous pictures with eachother to rember every single moment. As summer came, our love had grew more. A summer love. No destractions, no other people, just us. And life felt amazing. We knew we both loved eachother and that's how we worked. I could wake up in the morning and be confident that he'd love me the next. Unfortuantly, every good story has bad problems. We had broken up by the end of the summer. Highschool first year came around, and things changed. New people came into our relationship of our weak friendship that we had been holding onto. Connection was never fully lost, but it was regained as days went on. The strongest loves always find there ways back into love. And we had did it.. Many of people say that we should just let it go already, but they dont honestly get it that we were the best things that ever happened to eachother. Forgetting all of that is so hard to do.
5/6 Urbana, IL

This is for the show in Columbus, Ohio. I met my first love my junior year in high school, she was a freshman. We were in marching band together and hated each other for the first half of the year. The second half of the year, she joined jazz band with me and we hit it off. We talked and hung out all the time but were both too afraid to admit our feelings for the other. This went on until I moved away for college when I promised to stay in touch. I got into a hard relationship and a new partner that did not want me talking to her. I completely left my friend alone until the beginning of my sophomore year of college when I broke it off with my partner. It was obvious that we had feelings for each other after all of this time and we finally decided to take it to the next level. We started hanging out again and I felt like I could tell her anything and she was there to listen. We only lasted 7 months before we decided that our long distance relationship just wasn’t working and we would be better off as friends. She’s very happy with this decision and has moved on now but not a day goes by that I don’t regret not fighting harder. I could never put into words how she made me feel.

Hey. This is gonna be for the concert 5/18 in Gainesville Fl.
My first love and I started dating in the 8th grade but our story starts 2 years before that. In the 6th grade he had a crush on me, but I didn't know who he was. He admired me from afar. Then in 7th grade I noticed him and had a crush on him but didn't think he liked me. We were at a dance and I asked him to slow dance with me and he said no. So what was I supposed to think? It turns out he said no because he had broken his arm and had a cast and other girls he'd danced with said it hurt them.
Finally in 8th grade we had a mutual friend. We were both hanging out at the friend's house and his mom comes outside and goes ok, this has been going on long enough. Jessie you like Bobby, Bobby you like Jessie. Now it's out in the open. You two can date now.
And we did. We dated in 8th and 9th grade. We thought we'd be together forever. He used to call my mom his mother in law. In 9th grade we recreated my parents prom picture at our homecoming. I look like my mom and wore her prom dress and Bobby looks like my dad and wore a similar suit. We dated until the following year when his parents moved him to West Virginia. That was the end of us, but we still keep in touch. He's still one of my good friends.

3rd part
Even though, then, I wouldn’t be where I am with some friends now, I just miss you so dearly.
I’m sorry for everything, and I’m even more sorry that you won’t have anything to do with me.
You must think I’m such a lose for crawling back.
Sigh…
No matter where you go in life, I’ll always sit on the bench and cheer for you,
And be happy for you.
I know the plans won’t fall the same way we always planned them to,
And that really sucks.
But I’m just standing here with a deal, and that’s to be a lifetime friend.
Because that’s how much I care about you, that I’ll put my heart in pain to be there with you and for you.
I don’t think I ever told you how much you meant to me.

...I miss you Mannerz! :(

2nd half: Of course, there are those days when I wake u wanting you back, knowing I can’t be your Sunshine anymore, that you’ll call somebody else saying “Hey Beautiful”, but there are also the days when I think that maybe we were just meant to be great friends.
I have tried so often to tell you how I feel on the inside, the desire of my heart and how you make me feel so confused.
But everything I say seems to come out stupid, and no matter how many poems or songs I write or words I use to say the same things over and over, it just feels pointless.
You are on my list of top ten favorite people ever, and I want so much for you to let me in.
The way I always saw it was that you hurt me, and cut me deep.
You torched my Skyway Avenue, my eighth grade “love”.
But now, I think that I’m the one that hurt you.
Now you don’t seem to trust me, you don’t want me in your life, and that hurts me more than any of the words you ever said to me.
You are so up and down, it drives me crazy.
You say you want me back, and then you ignore me.
The hours we spend on the phone or together don’t seem to account for anything.
I’m still on the outside, a spectator, of your life.
I miss being the center of it.
We met by random chance, to the point where if any of us had made a split-second decision leading to something different, there would never have been any us.
There wouldn’t have been me and all of you guys, some of my best friends.
We’re all so different in absolutely every way.
I’m just the crazy white chick that follows you around, but we’re still meant to be together
Okay, so you don’t want me anymore.
I’m not pixy, and you’re not stick, but we make a great team together as friends.
It just kills me that I brought all of this upon myself for stupidity.
You were just the best.
I miss you.
I wish I could change the course of certain events.

I'm having to put this in 3 parts because it won't all fit into one. this is how I feel about my first love:
I can still remember that Thursday and the horrible day it just ended.
It happened by the most random and spontaneous act and thanks to me, in the blink of an eye it was gone.
Everything I knew was ruined and over, and it ended so painfully.
I felt like a knife was in my heart and I was drowning in this darkness of sadness and the when I tried to take a breath, all I felt was this puncture of pain through my soul.
It’s not very often you can ask a stranger the time and becomes best friends with them and possess feelings of so much more.
I miss everything about you and our friendship and those days when we talked all night, because being best friends and great communication was enough for us, we didn’t need everything the world told us to build strong bonds on.
When you can meet somebody and in an instant you just know that no matter what happens or where you go, you’re always going to want them in your life, if even as a friend.
That’s what I feel that you have given me, one of the most amazing and unique friendships in the world, and I can’t thank you enough over and over again in my brain for giving that lonely brunette a chance.
You gave me my first unforgettable summer, and it was the one that I never wanted to end, I wanted everything about for all time, and even now I do, I miss it.
I miss you so much sometimes, for so many reasons, and even though I think you just see me as that girl who hurt you, I never wanted it to be that way.
And, it seems like it took me much too late to realize this, but I needed you in so many more ways than I ever planned.
When I met you, I never planned on wanting you to be the one I could run to and the one I never planned on you influencing me so much.
Some days, I’m not sure how I feel about you.

For Lancaster, PA.
Well my first love was so wonderful and i already know i won't be able to write it as good as i felt it. His name was Tyler and i had a thing for him the first time he spoke to me. He and another boy pretended they would fight over me and date me and then one day he took it further and texted me. We started talking a lot and a few months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was December 18, it was snowing, and he kissed me. For Christmas, he drove around town all day to find real mistletoe to kiss me under. We became close really fast. We watched each others' favorite movies, he let me cry in his arms, we ate our favorite food spaghetti, we wrote each other notes and would hide them in the other's pocket. Tyler loved rap music and i didn't (i'm a punk person). But i smiled so big when i found out one of his favorite songs was Miserable At Best. On Valentine's Day, he told me he loved me and we smiled for a week straight. He plays lacrosse and had an away game one day and i missed him so much so i texted him the lyrics to Miserable At Best and it made his day. The day before his birthday, i gave him my virginity. I was shaking beyond belief and his heart was beating so loud, it sounded like someone was coming up the stairs. It ended up being exactly what i wanted it to be. It became mid March, time for prom. He baked a fortune cookie and the fortune was "Will you go to prom with me? :)" Later on, he scared me to death by saying he thought he was too young to love. We sat in my room for 2 hours crying and talking and finally, he persuaded himself i was the one for him. Prom came and was magical. We spent the night at the beach and "made love by the ocean." Jamie All Over was in my head all night. We went through something tough. Something we thought would ruin or completely change our lives. And that's when i knew i'd die without him. After he said we're in everything together and that i'm never in anything alone.

Richmond VA 5-26

I actually don’t remember when I first met my first love… For as long as I can remember I’ve always known and loved him. Throughout my life he’s always been there to help and support me. Even more than helping and supporting me he’s saved my life on several occasions. When my mom was pregnant with me the doctors told her to abort me because tests showed that I’d be born with brain defects, and they believed I would be a burden for her. Fortunately my first love showed her that she shouldn’t abort me, and now here I am with no brain defects. Another time when I was in danger he sacrificed himself to be beaten, mocked, and ultimately killed in order to save me. Jesus Christ isn’t just my Lord and Savior, He’s my first love. And I know I will face difficulties and discriminations because of my faith and love for Him, but after everything He did for me how can I give Him anything less than my whole heart? I truly believe that by giving my heart to Jesus I saved my heart for someone that’s worth dying for.

how do we know who wins?

5/28 Lancaster, PA
But one in the Uk would be a lot better >

I met him when I moved to India, at school. Things started off rough for me, made some bad first impressions and I basically didn't really know where I fit in there, but he took a chance on me and we quickly became best friends, sharing everything including of course our music tastes. Anyway he wrote a song about me, called it Tinkerbelle, and hearing and watching him play it to me in his room on his birthday was when I fell in love with him. Before him I didn't really know love, had never experienced it, never let a guy emotionally in, never really let myself trust guys, but that's another story I guess. Anyway probably just over a month after that there was a school trip... and that was when we had our first kiss. It was completely wrong, for so many reasons. He had a long distance girlfriend, but it was so right and sometimes in life you have got to be selfish. About 2am pitch black, everyone else was asleep, he kissed me. I pulled away, whispered her name and silently started crying. He wiped the tears away and kissed me again. It was so intense.. so perfect.. and had such emotion attached to it. I can't even compare it to anything else. I’ll skip the messy part but in the end we were together for five beautiful months. Then I had to move back to England. I decided against long distance, I guess I still have some trust issues I need to work on, but through everything we are still best friends and I could not have asked for a more understanding person in my life. I Visited him during the easter break, actually he played and sang 'I'd hate to be you' He’ll be here in just over a year for university hopefully. We’ve already agreed to go to a Mayday Concert together.